Hmm funny:)

I work with this really cool girl and she sent me these really cool jokes. I hope you enjoy them, I sure did.

--- A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

--- When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

--- A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which, is four."

--- A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

--- A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

Ok, you've read them. ..Aaand you are not laughing. Instead you think they are cheesy.... You think I'm lame for thinking otherwise. Ok, fine, make your fun:(

Summer is not all that great!

On June 6th I had all these great expectations for the summer, but i realize now that summer is just simply too boring. There is absuletly nothing interesting. I do almost the same old stuff every day. Summer is not all I had expected it to be. Not at all. I feel disapointed. I guess it is better to expect the worse, that way when something exciting happens you welcome it with happiness and joy. Since I am too disapointed at the moment, I have no expectations so hopefully something exciting will happen and I will no longer be bored and maybe my summer will experience a little twist.

Love is not enough

Right now, there are so many things going through my head, it is very difficult to just focus on one thought. I know that what I'm gonna write here tonight is not make any sense to me when I read it in the morning and that frustrates me even more. Sometimes I get this feeling where I just feel so empty. There is a blank in my life and I don't know what to fill that blankness with. I don't think enough. I just have blankness, blank thoughts.... There is usually nothing in my mind. And I dunno if I like that. I think I might. I'm well aware of how I cover up my emotions maybe that is why I sort of feel blank. But emotions make you vulnerable to everything and relationships are all about boundaries. You have to protect yourself. And emotions hold you back.
So..... before my blank state I thought alot about the concept of love. You see already this shit is not making any sense. Anyways back to what I was saying; concept of love. Well you see I think there is one kind of love. You love your best friend the same way you love your husband and your mother. I don't think the whole idea of being "in love" exists at all. Just the whole concept of it sounds so superficial. Well this is so pointless right now. I simply don't care so I don't really want to explain myself.
Instead, let's talk about my day. I woke up at 4:30 AM, went to work and since I don't start until 6:30 AM; I slept from 5:30 to 6:30 AM...My friend, Ibette saw me sleeping on the couch and woke me up and I clocked in right on time. I have been good friends with Ibette, she is just so awesome. And I had it marked on my calender that today was her birthday. I completely spaced it. Totally forgot to get her a gift. And she has never forgotten my birthday or christmas or any special day. I hate how I did that. I was gonna cry when I said "happy 18th birthday". I felt just so ashamed.
This other thing pissed me off. So my mom has been offered a promotion at her job and this is gonna make her get paid more than my dad but my father will not let her take the job. He can be so stupid so what if she gets paid more, the money is gonna go to the same bank account. He refuses to let her take the promotion just because he is jealous.
Rest of my day was just kind of sitting around smoking hookah, watching a movie with couple of friends, and just basically relaxing. A pretty empty day:)

What's new?

I JUST WROTE THE LONGEST FUCKING BLOG AND LOST IT ALL. I'M SO PISSED!!!!!!! SO NO NEW BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darkness falls over me.......

My life is shrinking to this ( . ) size. If the most important person in my life leaves, then my life is meaningless.... I will miss everything about my brother. I will miss how we spent most our days fighting for the past 17 years. I will miss how we made up after the horrible fights. I will miss how he called me his "honey" and I will miss how he told me to "fuck off". I will miss seeing his brown face that looks nothing like me. I will miss him call me a gypsy and tease me I'm not family cuz I'm whiter. I will miss him tell me the stupidest lie in the world and how I would believe it anyway because I trust him with all my heart. I will miss how he is always late to pick me up from school/work. No no, I will miss how he is late to do anything and everything. I will miss his smart assnessness. I will miss the look in his eyes when he says "I love you lil'sis'.....I will miss how he sits in front of his computer and plays his games. Even though I barely saw him during the day, I knew that he was upstairs and he was near and that security made me believe he would never leave me. I will miss how he has always been a father to me in the absence of our real father. And our father was always absent. I will miss how he taught me how to drive in one night. I will miss how that one night all his friends, him and I hung out and played games and drank wine and took lots of pictures. I will miss how the same night I cried to him and wished for the same strength he had. I will miss how I cried in his arms. Everything I am and everything I stand for is because of my brother. The strong person I am today I owe it to my brother. The fact that I am not a stupid girl, I owe it to my brother. I thank him for the nights we spent talking about history, politics, life, and everything in between. Without him I might as well die. Without him you might as well lock me up and never give me food, and leave me to rot away. Without him, I'm incomplete. Without him, I'm not happy. Today, I cry because I want him to stay with me. I cry because I'm selfish. I cry cuz I can't let go. I cry because I know I am not strong. I cry because I will make him disappointed if he sees me cry. But I can't stop.

School is over, summer is beautiful, brother moving out :(

I got done with school on Tuesday, that was exciting. I'm officially a senior. Well, thats not so exciting because junior year is the best...It is perfect, there is exactly one year until you graduate but you still are an upper classman. Senior year is not so great because you have to say goodbye to your IB family. Ok, I really do like my nerdy IB family...Love them all.
Enough about that, summer is gonna be awesome cuz I work full time and I don't have a car and I have to do a whole bunch of CAS stuff.
And on top of that, the only man I truly love is leaving me. He is going to Chicago. I love him and I would die for him. Yes, that would be my brother. I woke up this morning and thought about how he was moving out and I started to cry. I was just thinking how I will miss him. I have never been away from him for so long; this one time he left me for two months but thats it. Isn't that sad??? He is leaving on Monday. I kind of like missing him though. Cuz you know there are less fights and less visits to the clinic:) But then the devilish side of me came out and I thought about how I would be alone everyday for the rest of the summer. And I was thinking how I have the whole house to myself. Well I hate to think evil but a thought came over me. Hehe......anyways guys party at Dicle's... Just kidding. I rather be alone:)