Eh

I have decided that our personalities are so malleable. Maturing doesn't justify how we are so impressionable. Everyday we drop values that we held onto so strong before (however you would like to define before) and yet those values are so easy to be forgotten. Anyways, I had a good thought going with this...
I have been thinking that I have no intellect. I have been reading the same novel for the past three months and I am not even half way done. I am incapable of making time for something so essential in a person's life, reading. I've forgotten how to form grammatically, structurally, correct sentences. I am ashamed. I feel like a hypocrite when I read my students' essay. In the writing department, thats what we are striving to do yet, I haven't written anything nor have I read a page of my novel. I made a book list over time summer but unfortunately I was only able to cross off a minuscule amount:

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Back Roads by Tawni O'Dell
The Best Way To Play by Bill Cosby
Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
The Book of Ruth by Jane Hamilton
Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat
Cane River by Lalita Tademy
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
Cry, The Beloved Country by Alan Paton
Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
The Deep End of the Ocean by Jacquelyn Mitchard
Drowning Ruth by Christina Schwarz
Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons
Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald
A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
The Heart of a Woman by Maya Angelou
Here on Earth by Alice Hoffman
House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III
I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb
Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubio
Jewel by Bret Lott
A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines
Light in August by William Faulkner
A Map of the World by Jane Hamilton
The Meanest Thing To Say by Bill Cosby
The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier
Midwives by Chris Bohjalian
Mother of Pearl by Melinda Haynes
Night by Elie Wiesel
Open House by Elizabeth Berg
Paradise by Toni Morrison
The Pilot's Wife by Anita Shreve
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
The Rapture of Canaan by Sheri Reynolds
The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
River, Cross My Heart by Breena Clarke
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Songs In Ordinary Time by Mary McGarry Morris
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Stolen Lives: Twenty Years in a Desert Jail by Malika Oufkir
Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi
Vinegar Hill by A. Manette Ansay
A Virtuous Woman by Kaye Gibbons
What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage
Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts

Of course, I stole some of these from Oprah. I say, don't hate because of my Oprah love. I love Oprah. Not to mention that she has a good book list.
I also have collected about 3 or 4 months of National Geographic that I have not even opened. I know there is so much I am interested in that is written in those glossy pages but I have not had the time. Although, I know saying that is a big cop out. The other day, I was so stressed out about how I had no time and the hypocrite I am, I sat down and calculated how much time I work and how much time I waste going to school. Here's what my calculations look like:)
There are 168 hours in one week and I spend about 7 hours a night sleeping which makes 49 hours of sleeping a week.
So 168-49= 119 hours I spend out and about.
I work about 25 hours a week and lets say I spend about 2 hours a week for driving and getting to work that makes 27-28 hours just for work.
so 119-28=91 hours for school, homework and fun.
Unfortunately, I am a full time student, I have school five days a week from 8 AM to 5 PM so that makes that makes 40 hours so 91-40=41 hours for fun.
Everyday i probably spend 2 hours eating/making food so that another 14 hours
41-14=26 hours of fun. Well, somewhere in there I make time to shower about 5 times a week so that is another 2.5 hours. Still, I have so much time for fun, yet it feels like life is filled with everything but fun.

So, why does it still feel like I have no fun:)
Sorry, I am being obnoxious.

I cant wait to graduate:)