I am known for my long, dreadful, and emotional posts. When there is no one to talk to... I talk to my computer. Our lives are so based on technology and electronics, as weird as that sounds, my computer is a pretty good friend of mine. Come to think of it, without him I would not have much entertainment, let alone a shoulder to cry on:)

Past couple of weeks, or maybe the past couple of months I have been going through the motions of life, taking things for granted, and not appreciating what's been around me. I realized this 2 weeks ago. I am too late. As usual. Now I am trying hard to make my friends and close ones see that I am no longer doing that. It is hard to show people appreciation for being around, nothing more, just being around and being themselves. I have focused my emotions on people whom I literary don't give a shit about. I have let them in my life, the worse part is that I have let them in my mind. Now, I am regretful. But regret does not get me anywhere, so I learned to let go and be able to say the words, "I love and appreciate you" to the people who really do matter, like my mom or my best friend or whoever may come in the future whom I will love or continue to love. Who knows. I am hopeful. I wait with hope. Not the kinda hope that is pathetic and needy but the kinda hope that is patient and loving.

As ready as I am to say the words, I know that I cannot force things. I will wait and be there whenever I am needed. But what kind of a woman would I be, if I did not fight for what I loved? There is a distinct separation between fighting for the most important things in life and forcing something that is not meant to be. I will fight but only quietly, not force but wait. Only months and years will tell what the future holds for us and I have never been looking so forward to that future. And for now, what I have to do is not hold my breath but take deep breaths, live and love and never forget.