The Smell of Rain

I realized something today... Why look so much into the future when you should be living today like it is your last?!?! I realized today that if I were to die... I am not happy and I am not making the people around me happy. I would not want to die because everything is incomplete... But I realized that I have to live everyday like it is my last therefore I have to show my love and care for him for that day. Why look so much into the future?? It doesn't give us anything...

Today at the airport, I saw this couple with matching shoes and jeans. And their shirts looked exactly alike. Can I just ask a question? Seriously, what the hell is that all about?? What happened to individuality?? What happened to learning from one another and teaching each other?? Since when do you have to become one person with the one you love? I thought it was the most ridicilous thing. It reminded me of some kind of lame Halloween Party.

I keep thinking to myself. I keep thinking and thinking. Why does he love me? What keeps him attracted to me? Why does he care for me? I wouldn't give a shit about me. I guess there is the difference between him and I. I need to give him time and space and everythign else he wants. It's not because I want him to come back... I'm trying to be selfless... It's because I care for him, I respect him. I have so much to give him.... I am filled with love. Hehe. I know it sounds lame. I feel all these crazy things. He makes me happy and all at the same time... really sad:-(

Today is the second day I use White Strips. I wonder if they work??? I will have whiter teeth. I'm excited. I want to go buy me a prom dress. But I don't know where to go... I want to buy an orangish pinkish dress. I would love it if it was strapless and exposed my shoulders. I would love it if it had a low back... I really want a prom dress like that. Of course I am considering a purplish pinkish dress too because what he says matters.

http://www.windsorstore.com/detail.cfm?Cat=6&SKUGroup=450040127&c3=15

Nice color. But that is about it.

http://www.windsorstore.com/detail.cfm?Cat=6&SKUGroup=450020683&c3=15

Cute style. I dunno about the blue though.

http://www.emediawire.com/prfiles/2005/06/22/
254416/Jovaddcopy.jpg

I really like this color.

ok. I'm done looking at dresses. I'm done thinking about it. It's 2 months away. I should go to Cache.com later. I bet they have good stuff.

By the way, I have 96 comments and 69 friends on myspace. Hehe. That is funny.

It rained today. I love the smell of rain. It was really nice. It made me smile. I love the breeze against my bare skin, it's almost as good as his touch. Almost yet not even close. God, I love him. I'm done torturing myself though. I mean what happens happens... I love him. Yay, I am excited for this summer.

I need to work on school work tomorrow. Technically today:) Hehe. I can't believe spring break is over. I didn't do anything I wanted to do. I wish we had another week off. But we don't. Oh well. I want to do more stuff... I wish we went up to the mountains. That would have been nice. I have been wanting to go up to the mountains so bad.Hehe, the closest I have been to the mountains was some Tuesday or Wednesday where he stole me and we drove for hours. That was nice. I would have loved doing that again this spring break. But oh well. It doesn't matter.

I really like that song. I really really like it. It is the story of my life.

Goodnight.