Don't cry shopgirl

Probably one of the best movies made is You've Got Mail. It is about two people who find each other in the mist of a battle. So opposite yet so compatible. Couple months ago a person asked me if I had found my NY152 and I said.... Yes after a long pause. I don't know why I paused. But I am not going to contemplate over it.

What I hate the most is giving movies ridicilous titles. Titles such as "chick flick". Many might say that You've Got Mail is the epitome of chick flick. Well, I disagree. I think it is a good movie. A common misconception comes with a movie slapped with a title of a chick flick.... that it is a bad movie. I personally prefer the title Romantic Comedy... It fits the movie better. Although I cry everytime in the end when Tom Hanks wipes the tears off of Meg Ryans face and says "don't cry shopgirl", what a great line!

Today I did my nails. I never do my nails. I have been thinking, this is the time for me to be more feminine. I want to wear summer dresses, have curly hair and french manicured nails. Whatever happened to being feminine. I mean, I am so sick of wearing jeans and a shirt. I want to show my bubbly personality through the clothing I wear.. sometimes a smile is not enough.

I have been thinking for the past couple of days. I feel good. Today I woke up with a burst of good feeling. And I havent had that feeling in a long time. I have been thinking good things, things that will get me through life happily and bubbly. Bubbly is a cute word although a more meaningful word can be substituted. I have been thinking about where I stand and who I am becoming and where I am going... believe it or not I am happy. I love this unclear path that I am on. Unclear and unexpected is good. Not knowing what will happen this second, the next day, next month.... next ten years... it feels good. I love it. Right now is all that matters and the way I look at it is you can't have a really good moment and let it go down the drain next. Good things are followed after other good things. I mean thats just how life is. Lead a happy life now, make good decisions now, and you will be happy with the results later. Therefore this whole cycle of goodness comes your way...

I mean I love it. I love how we are this instant. If I make the best of today today it is simple as making the next day best as well... I don't know if that makes any sense. It made alot of sense in my head... and not knowing is good.

Laura's party is today and I am so EXCITED! One more day I get to spend with the man I love and the friends that are so close and dear to my heart. What a great day.

Happy Graduate

Oh YEAH

I am so done with school... I am excited, emotional, scared, timid for what lies ahead. Although my happiness cannot be described with words I am so afraid of what is going to happen next. I am leaving and I cant wait until I come back. I love my friends and not spending the summer with them is going to be hard. I will keep in touch with my buddies no matter what:)

BLUE EYES (blueish gray eyes:))

Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you

Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the sweet to my mean

Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes

All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are

Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny's scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you…

One whole year

Hehe... We made it through exactly one year. We cried the tears of hell together... held each other endlessly... I have never loved so much and been loved the way he loves me...

one year.... well what I say to that is... many years to go together... the strength we have will conquer anything:)

I love him.

Happy anniversary:)

Few more days....

I am almost done:) My brother is coming tomorrow. By the way, he could not have found a more perfect time:) Hehe, Anyways... I am going to Turkey and I am not that excited... My mind is just somewhere else. I am thinking other things... I am so sad that I am not going to see my friends and boyfriend for two months and my boyfriend seems to be happy about the fact that he is not going to see my oogly face for two months. That's just sad...

I keep seeing really frustrating dreams... I wake up crying or really scared.... or something like that. I might be one of those people who die in their sleep... have a heart attack or something.

I have no idea when my test is... I wanted to relax before my test and now all I can think of is how I am not welcomed... Anyways.... It's all good. I hate myself _________. I dont know I feel like I am not loved nor liked nor respected... and I am not worthy... I have never been... I hate myself because I am the worst friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, student...
example- .....

There must be something wrong with me

I am incapable! I have a Math and a Biology exam today.... I must be doing something wrong.... and I will just stop!

Prom is being stupid

God, it's ridicilous the amount of drama we are faced with!!!! How this prom bullshit is turning out is making me sad, although Christie is trying to somehow fix it. I don't know. It's so close. I can't believe it. I took my first IB test today. I wrote about something totally different:( First, I felt like shit and thought I analyzed it totally wrong but Yuriy made me feel better and made me realize I just had a different perspective on the passage. Hehe, I am happy the first portion is over with. I am excited:) Tomorrow is math and I feel confident.

Everything is just happening so quickly:) I am excited:) I am done with school and soon I will be done with IB tests and then prom will happen.... then Turkey.... I am going to miss my friends so much. How am I going to be away from him for so long??? It will be torture.

Prom is so close. I need to buy jewelery:) I made up my mind I am going to wear hoop earings for prom:) I know every girl on this planet will wear long earings and I need to bring back the hoops:) Hehe, I am going to sleep early:) I am excited to get done with first portion of math:)

Goodnight