Love Is Enough

As you may recall my previous blog "Love Is Not Enough" you may see the change in my feelings towards love.

I never knew love, never felt it from anyone actually. I know I love my parents and they love me, but for some reason we failed to show it to each other.

Nobody really got to see my pure, lovable side. Except one person. And I love him with all my heart. I felt love, I still feel love towards him. I know I fucked up. Maybe I cant fix it. I know he doesn't want me or love me anymore. But I care about him. I love him. I can't say it enough. I love him so so so much. I know I'm heart broken and I deserve it in every way. I wish the past ten months I gave him the world. However, I failed to do that. I failed to show him that I loved him. I hurt him many times and in many ways. Now, I know I deserve to cry. This is not just some stupid thing. I know I will be hurt for a long time. I cannot stop loving him. Once you love someone you always love them. I cared about him for three years and I will continue to care about him.

Now, all I can do is wait until he is ready to be my friend. Then, he can see how much I love him and I'm willing to do anything for him.

Today, I died a little inside. I lost something so precious to me., the only person who ever loved me. I can't say "please come back to me", cuz I know I don't deserve you.

When you read this and you feel something that means you still love me. And that even is too much for me. I dont deserve your love. I don't deserve you. But I will always love you.

Even though, you hate me crying, I will cry. I will cry everyday. Even if you see me not crying I will cry inside. My tears mean nothing. My words mean nothing to you. All I can do is let go of my love. My love, I'm letting you go. You are free of everything I have done for you. You are an amazing person. You are everything I ever wanted.... I'm sorry for everything. I still love you and I will always love you...